Odrentron world

When I put my head down at night
my brain starts clicking ticking twitching for the fight
I can't control it or trick it, please let me sleep tonight
No rest for the weary, I'm wound up too tight
People don't see the thoughts in my head
they think I'm just like them, moving without thought instead

twenty years, ten or even yesterday
time doesn't matter when you fight the same battles in a twisted play

I wish I could tell you I see beyond Dan
Fear of not living my best life is a bad stand
I am not the best me, I'm not living in rhyme
you may see bits and pieces from time to time
Believe me I fight for a silver lining each day
searching and clawing for a glimpse of the old me
he appears, then is gone, poof like the devil, nothing to see

At times I win a battle, and celebrate the score
The real me is still here / the good outweighs closing the door
Wake up with no rest from the battles in my mind
I have to start again each minute to the max, god I hate this grind
it runs on an endless loop with no victory lap
sorry to my family, Sisyphus is my map

You move on to the next day it is all the same
plastic people, plastic feelings all agreeing you are to blame
Please forgive me / I did not plant this in my brain,
But if you showed a little grace you could have eased the pain

Now people show up in my kitchen saying how sorry there are
Food in one hand, a beer in the other / but a call would have showed much more
They make small talk, tell a story. Kind words and forgiveness that I never heard
The fight is over, done, there is no encore, people care no more, the whole thing is absurd

I battle my demons, these demons each and every day
I battle my demons, these demons they make me a castaway

— Alex Odren
November 2022